“Pregnancy is natural, normal, healthy, and safe for me and my baby. My baby is healthy and safe inside me now. I am completely cooperating with my body as I nurture my baby….”

These are the first words in the “Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations” track from the Hypnobabies learning course. The idea of the affirmations is to help soon-to-be mothers approach labor with a “positive attitude.” Hypnobabies, and hypnobirthing in general, is so focused on positive attitude that the program even discourages the use of words like “labor” and “contractions” — which tend to have negative connotations — opting for words like “birthing time” and “pressure waves.”

In my final weeks of pregnancy, I found myself listening to these hypnobirthing affirmations every day, along with not one but two 30- 40-minute hypnosis tracks. In addition, I spent a few hours each week completing the online course, learning about things like the “finger drop” technique and spinning baby exercises.

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During the last few weeks of pregnancy, it seems like there are so many signs that labor is close. The one sure sign of labor is contractions that steadily increase in duration and intensity. However, your body will probably give you more subtle clues for several days or weeks before the exciting day. Be aware of these signs, but don’t pay too much attention to them. With the exception of breaking water, these signs indicate that labor may be a few days or even a few weeks away.

Low Rider

As labor draws near, your baby may drop into your pelvic cavity in preparation for the ride ahead. For first-time moms, this change may happen two to four weeks before the actual birth, according to What to Expect. If you’ve had a baby before, your baby may not drop until a few days before or even right before you go into labor. Either way, you’ll notice that you can breathe more easily because there’s more space in your upper abdomen. At the same time, you’ll probably need to urinate more frequently because your baby’s sitting on top of your bladder. You may also feel a dull ache or pressure in your lower pelvis, making walking more difficult.

Pesky False Labor Pains

As your time to give birth nears, you may experience false labor pains — also known as Braxton-Hicks contractions — especially in the evening after you’ve been on your feet all day. The intensity of these contractions may increase as you get closer to delivery. Try to view them as useful. They begin the process of thinning out your cervix, and they can also help you prepare for birth. The strategies that ease these contractions, such as distraction, slow breathing, movement or warm water, can also help when real labor starts.

Energy to Burn

Some women experience a surge of energy a few weeks or even a few days before delivery. This “nesting” instinct drives women to make all those final preparations before the baby is born, says the American Pregnancy Association. Take advantage of this extra energy to pick up any last minute supplies and pop a few meals in the freezer, but don’t overdo it. This is not the time to paint the nursery or landscape the yard.

Vaginal Discharge

During pregnancy, a mucous plug covers and protects the cervix. As your body nears labor, you may notice a bit of mucous in your underwear. The mucous may be clear, pink, or tinged with blood. Many women don’t lose this plug until they’re in labor and don’t even notice it. Leaking amniotic fluid is a sure sign that labor is near and is a reason to call your doctor. Only 8% to 10% of women’s water breaks before labor begins, according to the Cleveland Clinic. It’s more likely that your water will break after you’ve experienced a few hours of moderate contractions. It may happen with a gush or with a slow leak. In either case, contractions usually intensify afterward.

If you have other symptoms that may be signs that labor is close, talk to your midwife or OBGYN.

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Giving birth at the hospital may still be the norm for many expectant parents, but it’s not everyone’s desire to deliver in a traditional hospital setting. That’s where home birth plans can come into play. Often overseen by midwives and doulas, home births represent a small amount of overall deliveries in the Unites States, according to the CDC, but the home birth rate has been on the rise in recent years.

If you’re interested in exploring a home birth as a delivery option, here’s everything you need to know to be prepared.

More from Mom.com: What a Lotus Birth Really Looks Like

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Before my son was even born, I knew I was not going to be much of a crunchy, earthy mother. Bring on the formula, the day care, sleeping in a crib from the get-go! I also rolled my eyes (inwardly) when I read about other women’s birth plans. A “birth plan” to me meant a privileged, hypersensitive woman being very loud about the fact that she knew better than the medical professionals who were only reluctantly present before going off to their golf game, obviously trying to prove that she was better than all those sheep moms who just went along with toxic, lazy-people procedures like epidurals and C-sections. Bring on the medical interventions and pain relief! I would be a 21st-century, go-with-the-flow mother.

That is, of course, until I actually had my son and I realized that I did have a birth plan all along — I just didn’t know it. My secret birth plan checklist had entailed starting contractions at home around 40 weeks, laboring in my house for a while, going to the hospital, getting an epidural, pushing for a little bit, and having a baby, probably all within a span of 24–36 hours.

Instead, due to high blood pressure, I was sent to triage on a Wednesday afternoon at 37 weeks, spent a night being monitored, then had a balloon put inside my cervix for 12 hours to “ripen” it, then received pitocin (and an epidural, because by that point I was too frightened of what getting my water broken would feel like), threw up numerous times, developed a fever, was informed that I might or might not be getting a C-section, eventually pushed for 45 minutes, and then had my son, on a Friday night.

It was the most traumatic thing that had happened to me. It was scary and uncomfortable and painful and dramatic, and it’s worth saying again — scary. It was birth. Birth has no plan. You may have one, but your baby and body do not.

More from Mom.com: I Tore at the Top and Bottom During Childbirth — Here’s How I Recovered and Accepted My New Vagina

Now I am pregnant again, and all I want is for my second labor and delivery to go faster and smoother and less frighteningly than the first. It’s a hope, really. That’s what they should call birth plans: “birth hopes.” Of course it’s smart to be aware of what your choices are in the hospital and to advocate for yourself, but there is no use in pretending like things can’t change quickly. I had a friend who spent many hours taking Lamaze classes (yes, they still offer them!) only to realize she couldn’t use any of the poses she’d learned because, due to a sudden drop in her baby’s heart rate, she was hooked up to monitors that prevented her from moving much. She was disappointed that she couldn’t use what she had learned, but not to the extent that she was going to rip off the monitors and get on all fours.

Things like this happen all the time. Despite science and medicine and knowledge both new and old, we still have so little control over how babies are born. This is information that should be shared more. Too many women feel guilty or disappointed that they didn’t get the delivery experience they dreamed of, but that’s like feeling guilty or disappointed that you didn’t get the plane trip you dreamed of. Of course we all want a smooth trip with no delays or turbulence but — given the option — all we really want is to get there.

The post Why Your Birth Plan Doesn’t Matter appeared first on Mom.com.

For those nearing the end of their third trimester, or even surpassing their due date, it can feel like the baby is taking so long to join the world. At this point, you’ve been pregnant for what feels like forever, and you may be interested in trying to induce labor at home.

There are a lot of old wives’ tales and myths about how to jump-start the process. From certain foods to eat that help induce labor to exercises and messages to try, there are a lot of theories. But here’s the lowdown on which ways are scientifically tested and may be proven to help, and which are just wishful thinking.

More from Mom.com: Expensive Baby Products That Are Actually Worth It

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I first heard about placenta encapsulation when Kourtney Kardashian boasted about eating hers after giving birth. It sounded like something that would probably be too expensive for us mere mortals.

“Placentophagia” refers to the process of a new mother consuming her placenta postpartum by either eating the placenta raw, cooked, or in capsule form, or drinking the juices from the placenta once it is cooked.

I read once that most mammals eat their placenta after delivery. It made sense (to me) then that women should consider it too. After enduring a long labor that ended in a C-section, I wish I had eaten my placenta. I definitely could have used the energy boost and the protection against postpartum depression, given my history with the illness.

An article in The Guardian noted benefits that include “boost[ing] milk production, fight[ing] postpartum depression, reduction of pain, and increased energy in new mothers.”

More from Mom.com: What a Lotus Birth Really Looks Like

When I found out my friend and vlogger Linda Garcia (aka @luzwarrior) had decided to eat her placenta, I had to learn more about it. She explained that the benefits mentioned above were far too great for her to ignore. In her research, she also found that the placenta helps prevent infection, increases milk supply, and is a natural pain reliever after birth.

Through her, I also learned that you have various options for eating it beyond encapsulation, such as a bedside raw smoothie.

This drink is prepared at the hospital and can be mixed with fruit and a variety of ingredients or in a milkshake form. I know some of you might be thinking, “RAW SMOOTHIE?!” Personally, I felt so drained after birth that, if I did it all over again, I would eat whatever I was told if it would make me feel better. Linda also made an excellent point, saying she was a bit squeamish at the thought of eating her placenta raw, but then she remembered she’d eaten other things that are actually terrible, like overprocessed fast food.

There are other things you can do with your placenta. You can make a dreamcatcher, create an oil that can be preserved for later in life, like menopause, or make an ointment to help with scarring from a C-section.

Another fun fact: You can have others consume your placenta, too, like your partner or a friend.

If this sounds like something you would want to do, here’s what you should know:

• There is some prep work involved. You need to get blood work done before the delivery to evaluate your eligibility.
• Most states don’t have any laws that prohibit you from taking your placenta home. But of course you need to inform your doctor about it. Linda encountered some eye rolls when she informed her doctor about it, but she was determined this was for her and the doctor cooperated during the pre-birth phase.
• After delivery, the placenta will be picked up and the raw smoothie will be prepared on-site. The pills and other goods will be prepared in the next few days.
• The service is about $250–$350 in many cases. If you want to learn more, visit FeelGoodPlacenta.com.

Of course, I’m not a medical professional, so consult with your doctor if you are considering eating your placenta.

Linda has been documenting her entire pregnancy, including sharing tips on what to wear, how to deal with the emotional ups and downs of the second and third trimester, sharing what is in her hospital bag, and more details on why she decided to encapsulate her placenta. She is honest, vulnerable, and informative. Also, her makeup is always flawless! Check out her YouTube channel, We Have Issues.

Here she is eating her placenta! (Or is she …?)

The post Why (and How) You Should Eat Your Placenta appeared first on Mom.com.

Giving birth in the United States is expensive. With or without insurance, childbirth costs thousands — or tens of thousands — of dollars. According to an analysis done by KFF, “health costs associated with pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum care average a total of $18,865 and the average out-of-pocket payments total $2,854.”

To be quite frank, a lot of the charges are absolute bullsh*t. If you look at an itemized hospital bill, you’ll often see exorbitant charges for basic things, like ibuprofen and vitamins. The charges add up fast, and suddenly you’re facing huge bills, which can quickly turn into medical debt.

More from Mom.com: Why Didn’t Anybody Tell Me 10 Percent of Epidurals Fail?

When I was pregnant with my daughter, my birth plan centered around one thing: getting an epidural. I figured, why go through excruciating pain when it’s not necessary? After enduring a few hours of contractions, I requested my epidural when I was six centimeters dilated. The anesthesiologist came into my room immediately to administer the epidural, telling me I should start feeling relief momentarily, with the full pain relief taking effect within 30 minutes.

Ten minutes later, my pain had only gotten worse. My doula convinced the nurse to ask the anesthesiologist to come back — he said he’d re-check me in 20 minutes after he was finished with someone else’s epidural. At that point, it was too late, my daughter was already crowning. Just 40 minutes after getting my epidural, I was 10 centimeters dilated and ready to deliver my baby. Delivering no pain relief whatsoever, my epidural had failed.

When I told friends and family that my epidural didn’t work, I consistently got the same question: “Wait, did you still have to pay for it?”

The answer is unequivocally YES. I was billed for the local anesthetic (bupivacaine), the medication itself (fentanyl), and the administration of those medications. Even though it didn’t work, I technically did get the epidural… and billing is all about technicalities.

Nothing is free when it comes to medical care in the U.S.; not prenatal appointments, not childbirth, not even being born. My daughter left the hospital at two days old with her very own medical bills. It’s time for our country to do better by parents and babies.

The post My Epidural Didn’t Work — Yes, I Still Got Billed for It appeared first on Mom.com.

Let’s be real: If you plan to deliver a baby vaginally, your vagina will look and feel different after birth.

Sure, you can try to prevent tearing. You can hire a doula, do prenatal perineal massage, keep the perineum warm during delivery, give birth sitting upright or on your side, and control your pushing — but at the end of the day, chances are you will tear.

According to the ACOG, between 53 percent and 79 percent of vaginal deliveries will include some type of laceration during birth, and even those who don’t are still pushing an entire human out of their vagina. You shouldn’t expect your vagina to look or feel the same after birth, and that’s OK!

The post I Tore at the Top and Bottom During Childbirth — Here’s How I Recovered and Accepted My New Vagina appeared first on Mom.com.

I can remember telling one of my friends that I did not have a birth plan for the delivery of my second son. I was just going to follow whatever my ob-gyn told me to do. She could not believe me. This friend had hired a doula to assist during her pregnancy because she didn’t know exactly which doctor would deliver her baby, and we had previously talked about the risks of maternal mortality for Black mothers. We both knew that a healthy pregnancy and healthy delivery were major blessings and were aware of what we could potentially experience, so my statement shocked her.

Although my choice seemed to be unbelievable, a lot of work was put into this decision. I had already taken steps to advocate for myself in my health care plan, and it was paying off. I knew without a doubt that my physician would do everything she could and make every decision in the best interest of my baby and me.

As it turned out, my delivery was not an easy one, so trusting her became one of the best decisions I could have made. So, how did I get to this point?

Below are the steps you can take to advocate for yourself during your pregnancy and for your health in general.

The post How Black Mothers Can Advocate for Themselves During Pregnancy appeared first on Mom.com.

When a baby is born before 37 weeks of pregnancy, he or she is said to be preterm. Preterm births affect approximately 10% of pregnancies, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). While all preterm babies are at risk, the biggest risk is for those born prior to 32 weeks. When can a baby survive outside the womb? This article will answer the questions that you have about premature birth.

The post When Can a Baby Survive Outside the Womb? appeared first on Mom.com.