Tips and Tricks for Managing Multiples.

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Surviving

The first 6 months of having multiples is a lot of hard work. It’s worth it, but just know it’s busy, busy, busy. You should concentrate on your MAIN job — which is to take care of yourself and your babies. Many moms would suggest that you keep in mind that its only a very short time and to do anything and everything to make your life as easy as possible. Some tips and tricks for making it in this early stage follow…

• Tip: hire out anything you can. It may be hard to afford it, but it is important. Don’t think of it as forever, just help you need for the first few months. It will be worth it to help you (and your husband or partner) survive. The best thing you can do for your children is stay married (ha ha ha) and stay sane.
• Tip: try and hire out any services you can that you hate and keep the ones you like. For example, hire housecleaners, people to cook, grocery shop, walk the dogs, service the car, garden, take out the garbage, scoop the dog poop, etc. These services are usually cheaper than nannies or nurses and the time that they free up will give you more time with your babies. Don’t be afraid to ask family members and friends for help (and accept any help that is offered!!!)
• Tip: hire neighborhood teens or even older children to help out. They can walk dogs, scoop poop, empty trashcans, pick weeds, wash dishes, fold clothes, strip and make beds, etc. They are often very inexpensive and thrilled to help out. Once you train them (try to do this during your pregnancy and you get a bonus of having help during the last couple of months of your pregnancy) they can do loads of chores for you once the babies come.

Sleeping (for Your and the Babies)

• Tip: sleep whenever you can. Even 10 minutes power naps help. It’s a LONG haul, so get your rest. It’s your job to stay rested and calm so don’t feel guilty when you need to take a nap! Again, take any offer for help you get!
• Tip: sleep or rest when the babies rest. Do it!
• The chores can wait!

Breastfeeding

• Tip: you CAN breastfeed multiples, many mom’s do. The hardest part is often burping them! At this age they are very little and very limp. It’s often easier to feed them separately when they are this young. You will be able to try and feed them at the same time when their heads are more stable.
• Tip: have a helper (dad, nanny, grandma, neighbor, etc.) do the burping so you can do the feeding.
• Tip: you need LOTS of water and food to make double (or more) amounts of milk. Have a helper set up a tray of snacks for you that you can nibble on all day long (and all night too…). Always have big glasses of water around and drink, drink, drink.

Bottle Feeding

You need not feel guilty if you can’t breast feed. It’s hard. Try to do what is best for YOU.

• Tip: You can often bottle feed two babies at once, even at an early age. That can help you get more rest by feeding two at once.
• Tip: Use car seat buckets in the house to feed two babies at once. You can put them on either side of you in their buckets and hold two bottles. Use this time to sing or talk to them. You can also use boppies, pillows, anything that works to prop them up for feeding.
• Tip: Try and get as much “holding time” in when bottle feeding your babies. You can do this by holding one baby while you nurse or bottle feed that baby, and put the other baby in a car seat or bouncy seat next to you (with a propped bottle or using a bottle holder). When you stop 1/2 way to burp them, switch places. They will both benefit from being near you and hearing you talk or sing. They both also get some holding time! Its practical and not to hard to do.
• Tip: Ignore the advice to “never prop a bottle”. You WILL have to do that at some time. What “they” mean is don’t leave your babies in their crib alone with a bottle. Propping a bottle (or using another ingenious device to hold up that second bottle) is ok, as long as you are right there to make sure they are doing ok. Talk to the one being “propped” and look into their little eyes and tell them you love them. Sing to them as you hold the other baby. Sigh — guilt is a constant companion of a MOM.
• Tip: You can bottle feed breast milk. It’s still good for the baby!
• Tip: Try bottle feeding your babies while you are both (somewhat) naked. You will still want the baby to wear a diaper (as they almost always poop after feeding at this age).

Scheduling

One of the things every new MOM desperately wants to know is “What will my day be like? When will these kids sleep? Can I put the babies on a schedule and how?” Children do fall into a routine, you just have to be consistent. People with singleton children often recoil in horror at this notion, but for your sanity with two (or more) children, a schedule can really help.

Remember that all people follow some type of pattern. Most of us wake with the sun, eat breakfast, work/play in the morning, eat lunch, get drowsy (take a nap if we are lucky!), need a pick-me-up (snack or coffee) around 3, get some good work done in the afternoon, eat dinner, relax, then go to bed around the same time. (Don’t forget that somewhere in that busy schedule you have different practices for the older kids, meetings, errands to run, etc.) Babies and children are the same way! So don’t feel guilty if you help them get into a pattern that works for them and for you and your husband. Good luck!

Preemies: Note that premature babies will need to be kept on the schedule that your doctor or the NICU suggests. This usually includes feeding them every 2 – 3 hours (even through the night) until they reach a certain weight/age (often 9 lbs or 4 weeks past the due date). Then your doctor will usually say you can start letting them go longer between feedings at night — the blessed “sleeping through the night”.

0 – 3 Months : Young babies are often just learning to organize themselves in this first 3 month period. They are very erratic. They often get “colic” during this time period. You can help them become more regular by feeding them every 2 – 3 hours and letting them sleep deeply in between. They rarely play, but can be quite alert for a few minutes — and their favorite thing to do is look at your face, their face (in a mirror) or at their sibling’s face. If you can — try not to feed them around the clock, sip, sip, sip. Help them learn to eat a full meal every 2 – 3 hours. This may seem harsh (and don’t do it if you can’t! These are only suggestions for helping them get on a schedule). How do you help them eat once every 2 or 3 hours? By not feeding them all the time! Feed, then play with them for a bit (or let them look at stuff — faces, mobiles, the lights, the fan, etc.) and THEN go to sleep. Remember that it doesn’t take much to wear a newborn out. Lights, music, talking, etc. are all new to them and take brain power (and energy) to comprehend and/or block out. Try not to feed them to sleep all the time, but rather feed – play – put down to sleep. By the end of the third month your daily schedule should look something like this…

Newborn Sample Schedule:
• 6 am — first feeding of day, go right back to sleep
• 9 am – second feeding of day, followed by play time, then back to sleep
• noon – third feeding, play time, back to sleep
• 3 pm – fourth feeding of day, play time, back to sleep
• 5 or 6 (they often get fussy this time of day) – fifth feeding of day, need comforting (snuggling, holding), may go to sleep
• 9 pm – sixth feeding of the day, usually go back to sleep right away
• middle of the night feeding — (could be at 10, 12, and/or the classic 2am feeding!) — they usually drop this by the time they are 12 – 15 weeks old and sleep through the night. Yes — if they go to bed anywhere before midnight and don’t get up until 5 or 6 — you can rejoice and officially call that “sleeping through the night”.

• PLAY with the babies in the daytime. Try and keep them awake for a few minutes AFTER they eat, so they know it’s daytime. Use THIS time for singing, playing, snuggling, etc. Read books, look at mirrors, mobiles, etc. Have your helpers do this too. Wear them out a bit in the daytime so they will sleep at night.
• DON’T play with them at night. Be very quiet, keep the lights low, speak very little at night. (e.g. – don’t sing to them at night, etc. Make night time boring so they will go to sleep!)